your mouth makes your butt look fat

I've been having my students set a goal for themselves that they can work on throughout the school year and see results by June 2012. It can be anything from reading x number of books to raising hands more often in class. Never one to give the kiddos an assignment I wouldn't do myself, I've been giving a lot of thought to my own resolutions.  Should it be...
To make sure I make a delicious dinner with organic vegetables every night?
To spend at least 2 hours at the gym attempting to gain muscle in these spaghetti arms?
To never ever go to bed without washing my face no matter how tired I am?

They're all decent enough resolutions. But, let's face it, I'm only going to do any of those for about 6 months and then go back to my old ways. Big Macs are just so scrumptious, I don't like going out to the gym in the cold because it takes me forever to get warm, and sometimes I am too tired to walk up the stairs let alone wash my face. Well then what could I possibly do that would have enough of an impact on me that I would want- no, yearn to do all year?

Well, frienditos the answer is simple. I'm going to stop putting up with people's backhanded compliments. I don't know if you've ever had someone tell you something like,
"I hate that color and that shirt, but it works on you."
Or, "I'm surprised someone your age understands that."
Let's never forget,
"You do ____ pretty well for a girl."

Ob. Nox. Ious.

I don't know if it's because I've been getting more of these than usual or if I really put that much thought into my resolution, but they stink and I just don't like them. Generally I just blow them off, but you know what? I never retaliate. I could and perhaps I should, but I don't. Unless you pee glitter and poop out pineapple you aren't the bee's knees. Am I right or am I right?

2012, I'm ready for you. Let's do this thing.